Sung to: tune of: “Somebody That I Used To Know”
Parody Copr. 2014 C. Garvey
Original from which parodied:
Gotye – Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra)
The Gotye original is musically & visually beautiful, and you should see & buy it at:
List of Stuff Doctors used to know:
-We need Low-fat diets [But sugar is much worse than fats].
-High-fructose corn syrup is better than sugar [A friend of mine lost 30 lbs. by by simply avoiding high-fructose corn syrup].
-Artificial sweeteners are better than sugar [They are toxic and don’t help weight loss].
-Sugar is a good source of calories [But it killed animals that farmers tried to fatten on it].
-Vaccines are safe & effective [But See: autism, ADD, peanut allergies, Guillain–Barré syndrome paralysis. I’ve met at least 6 people who contracted Guillain-Barré syndrome shortly after vaccines].
-Ritalin is good for children.
-Cigarettes are harmless.
-Bleed out ill-humours [Killed George Washington, among others].
-Patented opiates are less addictive [Until the patent expires, at which point they discover that opiate is just as addictive as the last one].
-Tranquilizers for a better life.
-Anti-cholesterol drugs help you live longer. [But they increase mortality. They destroy your liver. And your brain, nerves, & muscles are made of cholesterol. Exercise without cholesterol doesn’t build muscle. Your heart is a muscle.]
Ulcers are caused by stress [Helicobacter pylori bacteria cause ulcers, see http://discovermagazine.com/2010/mar/07-dr-drank-broth-gave-ulcer-solved-medical-mystery].
– Brain cells don’t re-generate [They do regenerate].
-Gun ownership is an epidemic [But banning gun ownership increases violent crime.
Most 20th Century murders were committed by governments against disarmed victims.]
-Take iron if an illness makes you anemic [anemia kills viruses].
-Reduce fever with Aspirin – [But fevers kill viruses. So does anemia.]
-Acetaminophen (Tylenol) is better than aspirin [It’s easier to overdose and die from acetaminophen.
-Take anti-histamines for a cold [anti-histamines prevent mucus from rinsing away germs].
-You don’t need vitamins.
-Slash-burn-or-poison to cure cancer.
Avoid exertion; don’t sweat.
-Oral herpes is a completely different virus than genital herpes [not true].
-Put some weight on.
-Horse estrogen is a good substitute for human estrogen [Premarin increased risks for heart attack, stroke, blood clots, and breast cancer].